


It's a Boy!

by AgentMaryMargaretSkitz



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, Gen, Mr. Parker's Cul-de-Sac, Things are scary so let's have a laugh, quarantine made me do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2020-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:35:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23279476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz/pseuds/AgentMaryMargaretSkitz
Summary: Damien lied a little- he did use blood magic to track down Nora after checking her location on her watch. But there should have only been one signature in the house, not two.Of course, he jumps to conclusions.(Mr. Parker's Cul-de-Sac crack)
Relationships: Damien Darhk & Nora Darhk
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	It's a Boy!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MrsNoraPalmer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsNoraPalmer/gifts).



> So I had an anon come in after Please Don't Come Back that suggested Gary and Nora as siblings. I had a good laugh over it and then the plot bunny bit me. My fellow Constangreens fed the bunny and now we have this. 
> 
> Yes, it is crack. I would like to remind you all of that. This is crack. Things are freaky right now and if I can help someone laugh through this, then I've done my job. Please stay healthy and safe and learn something new in quarantine if you feel up for it.
> 
> Also shout out for MrsNoraPalmer for really nudging this bunny along.

Using Palmer Tech’s location sharing on their watches was one way to find someone, but you couldn’t always rely on technology. For Damien Darhk, blood magic was always reliable. Once he’d pinpointed where Nora was by her watch, he cast a spell just to check. Sure enough, her signature matched to the same point in England.

However, there was also a second signature in the same location. Someone who shared blood with him like Nora. But that wouldn’t make sense unless-no. No, she couldn’t have had a child already. But if she had…

He couldn’t get too ahead of himself, but the possibility excited Damien too much.

When he first arrived, he was proud to see what Nora had done for herself. She was a powerful sorceress with her own manor. In the past two years, she had made quite the name for herself. Although she did seem a little jumpy. Probably just so surprised that he had come back from hell, Damien figured.

He finally decided to bring up the second signature during the tour of the house. “So is there anything you want to share with me?”

“Uhhhhh,” Nora fidgeted with her hands for a moment. “I spent last week taking puppies away from children. Children who made me very, very mad.”

“You took puppies from children?” Damien covered his mouth as pride filled him. “That’s so cold and heartless. I’m proud of you!”

“Thanks, Dad,” Nora smiled as she led them into the parlor.

“And there’s nothing else you want to tell me?” he pressed a little more. “Nothing about a certain someone?”

His daughter went pale. “You know, don’t you?”

“I suspected,” he admitted as he took a seat in the armchair. “And I’m so happy.”

“You are?”

“Of course. I mean, I never thought I would want children until you came along. And now I’m a grandfather! Who’d have thought?”

There was a thump from a wardrobe in the far corner. Damien glanced at it but then saw Nora sagging down against the couch. Her mouth was opening and closing, but no words came out. She appeared to be stunned that he knew.

“Um, you have the wrong idea, Dad,” Nora finally managed to start talking. “I do not have a kid, and I am definitely not pregnant. And I’m not even sure if I want to have kids, okay? Whatever you’re thinking, it’s not kids. I can promise you that.”

A door slammed somewhere in the house and she sighed. “Give me one moment. That’s probably one of my…henchmen.”

“You have henchmen? Nora-doll, that’s fantastic!”

Nora nodded quickly. “It is. Just give me a moment, okay?”

She darted out of the room quickly. Damien leaned forward on his knees and began to think to himself. Nora didn’t have a child and he wasn’t a grandfather. But why had the blood magic told him there was a second person here who shared his bloodline. That made no sense unless his magic was getting wonky. Yet magic had never failed him so there had to be someone else here with his blood.

“Dad,” Nora returned, smiling brightly with a sword. “Meet my henchwomen. They’ve just returned a relic to me.”

“The captain of the Waverider AND director of the Time Bureau,” Damien gaped. “Normally I would be excited, but something is bothering me.”

“Dad, it it’s about earlier-”

“Yes, but it’s not kids, sweetheart. I did use the Palmer Tech tracking system, but I also did use a little blood magic. I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be sure!”

“Okay, so why did you think I had a kid?”

“The magic showed two signatures here,” Damien told her. “So you can see why my mind went on that tangent.”

“Okay then,” Nora crossed her arms. “I don’t know what that means. Can you do it again?”

Damien nodded. “I’ll need a knife. Gotta bleed for blood magic.”

Sara Lance stepped forward with a knife. “Allow me.”

Nora grabbed the knife and passed it to him. Damien sliced the palm of his hand and murmured a few words. The spell had to be tailored since he wasn’t doing it on a map, but it would still work. Two red strands rose from the blood pooling in his palm. The first was pointing to Nora and the second pointed to the wardrobe.

“Curious,” Damien muttered as he broke the spell. Wrapping his hand in a handkerchief, he strode over to open it up. As he flung the doors open, he was met with the cowering time agent he’d tied to a railway in the Old West hours before.

“Please don’t hurt me,” the man whimpered. “I don’t want to die.”

“Oh my god,” Ava Sharpe gasped. “Oh my god. Oh. My. God! Babe!”

Sara Lance was staring open-mouthed. “You have got to be kidding me.”

Nora drew up beside Damien. “Dad, why did the other strand point to Gary?”

A memory was coming back, one he hadn’t thought was very important. A couple dates, one or two nights to blow off some steam a few decades ago. She didn’t mean much of anything to him; he had been focused on terrorism more then. But so many of her features were there in the man in front of him.

“Miriam,” he said aloud, remembering her name.

“Actually, it’s Gary,” the man squeaked. “Miriam was my mother.”

“Gary, who was your dad?” Ava asked, practically bouncing in her shoes. “Who was he?”

“I don’t know, she never told me- why are you asking me this?”

“Because my dad,” Nora pointed to Damien. “Is your dad too. I think.”

“No, I am,” Damien choked, overwhelmed by emotion. “I have a son.”

He yanked Gary out of the wardrobe and into a hug. “Blood magic can’t lie. I have a son! Nora, did you know you had a brother?”

“Not until now,” she told him with a tight smile. “So Gary is my brother?”

“Half-brother, technically, but blood all the same! And you two found each other without knowing. Oh, that’s so sweet!”

He released Gary. “We need to celebrate! I’ve come back from Hell, my daughter is a master sorceress, and I have a son!”

“Ahhh,” Sara Lance began, but Nora raised a finger.

“That…is a great idea, Dad!” she said. “I’ll have them get dinner ready and we can catch up more.”

“With Gary too, right?” Damien looked proudly at him. “We have to include him in the family discussion too. I want to hear what he’s been doing!”

“That’d be great,” Gary grinned nervously. “I’m going to, ah, get a bottle of wine. For all of us.”

“Make it two,” Nora told him. “I think we’re going to need it…if we have any more guests.”

**Author's Note:**

> And of course, John comes in and makes things worse. Damien does apologize for the train but thinks it's funny because he's Damien.
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed this. I just hope that I made you laugh. And feel free to leave a kudo or comment, no matter how big or small.
> 
> (Also, yes I am thinking of continuing the Vandad Savage fic, I just need to figure out where I take it next)


End file.
